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What are the odds of meeting a woman, at a Girls’ Night Dinner Party in the literal middle of nowhere, and her recognizing one of the three men you’re talking to on Tinder. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?? Apparently pretty good. It just happened to me this past weekend.
Women are awesome. You throw six of us together, most of whom had never met and all over 50. You’d think the topics of conversation would be about cooking or basket-weaving or gardening. GIRLLLL? I tell u whut. Within the first 15 minutes, we were all shouting out how long (or recently) it’d been since we had sex. My stomach hurt from laughing! This was gonna be a GREAT night.
But let’s talk about The Controller. That guy from my Tinder.
Let’s call him David. David and I had conversed maybe three times back and forth prior to my Girls’ Night. He was kinda interesting, mildly entertaining and pretty handsome to be honest. Something didn’t click right away but as we know, it’s so hard over text to truly know a person. It’s pretty superficial. But he was handsome enough to keep the dialogue going. We were still at the getting-to-know-you-phase with the almost obligatory questions, “How are you finding the APP?” “Met anyone interesting?” “What are you looking for?” It was a very, very new connection. I held a glimmer of hope for this guy, David. Until the feedback from my new bff.
He has a huge dick but is very controlling!
Exactly hoooooooow controlling is he??????
I mean come on Ladies. When the lead-off descriptor contains the word HUGE, can you overlook the rest of it? The rest of the assessment? I was hoping my new bff was being overly dramatic. After all it had been over 10 years since she’d seen him.
Well, fast forward to Monday, two days after our Girls’ Night and my conversation resumed with David. Of course I didn’t mention his prior amour. It was irrelevant, except those words “he’s really controlling” were ringing in my ears like an alarm clock on a Monday morning.
Here’s how the convo went:
Him: Hey how was your weekend?
Me: Great! Had a fun Girls’ Night dinner party and spent Sunday watching football. My team was on a BYE but still enjoyed the day.
Him: You talk about sports a lot!
Me: Yes – I do! I love sports.
Him: Well we’ve talked enough about sports now and we’re moving on. Ive had enough…..”
Me: Oh! Okay…. just letting you know that’s not going to change. Sports is a big part of who I am.
Him: I said we’re done talking about Sports! What’s your week looking like?
My week just got better as I hit the UNMATCH button and surely dodged a major bullet. First of all, did you read my bio??? Didn’t think so. Second of all, suck my dick and then suck it again.
My new BFF was RIGHT!
