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Could a die-hard Jeff Gordon fan have great sex with an equally die-hard Tony Stewart fan?
Would the #24 Dupont Chevrolet jive with the #20 Home Depot Toyota?
Bristol, TN you almost did me dirty! But you came through in the end! My first NASCAR race was a banger. It was the night race in Bristol, TN on August 22, 2009. That trip changed my life, no exaggeration.
THINGS I REMEMBER VIVIDLY
1. You Found Me by The Fray was on auto-play by every single radio station; we knew every word by Day 2
2. Our rental car sounded like a lawnmower; it was so bad. I swear it had 2 cylinders
3. Bristol, TN is literally in the middle of nowhere, and were it not for NASCAR, I’m not sure anyone would know it existed
4. NASCAR guys like to take their shirts off; a lot; like all the time
5. Every single business in Bristol had a NASCAR Welcome Sign for all the Visitors
And that was only my first day!
The absolute debauchery from the weekend is for another post. Suffice to say my girlfriend and I were treated to the best Southern Hospitality around. We loved it. Kyle Busch of the Joe Gibbs Racing Team won the race and I can say with authority, NO ONE WAS HAPPY ABOUT THAT. However between 11 cautions and 12 lead changes, the night was electric.
Our flight out of Knoxville on Sunday was late in the day and purposefully allowed us enough time to brave the outbound traffic from the race the next day. We arrived at the airport in the knick of time as it turns out, only to learn that our flight was cancelled. We were already at the gate. We were hungover, exhausted and still angry that Kyle Busch won.
Turns out our flight had “mechanical problems” and we were all sent to a nearby Airport Hotel.
What could possibly go wrong?
A bunch of hungover, overtired, horny NASCAR fans stuck in a hotel bar together, waiting for their flight in the morning. It was absolutely eclectic!
My friend and I sat down in the hotel bar and I immediately noticed a super hot guy beside us. Only thing – he had a 14 hat on 🙄. Given his charming smile and sexy five-o’clock-shadow, I was willing to overlook his traitorous lack of judgement to just see that guy naked in bed.
It was stupid o’clock when everyone went up to their rooms. The last thing my friend said was, “Please order me a Club Sandwich and bring it to the room when you’re done with #14.” I acknowledged the request and proceeded to accompany #14 to his hotel room.
Drunk Sex with a New Guy was HOT. He flipped me all around, I complied and in between thrusts we chided each other about our favourite drivers. When it was time to go, I bid him a sweet farewell and somehow found my room.
Instantly, my friend asked where her Club Sandwich was.
FUCK
I’d left it in #14’s room.
So I went back to pick up the sandwich. It had to be around 4am and #14 answered the door naked, knowing it was me. We went for Round 2 and by the time I returned to my room with the sandwich, it was more stale than a crusty witch’s tit.
