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Surviving and Thriving: How to Build a Stronger Life After Leaving an Abusive Marriage
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alking about one’s history of being in an abusive marriage can be a difficult topic to broach, especially when attempting to date as a single mom. The fear of being judged or rejected due to one’s past experiences can be overwhelming, and it’s not uncommon for single moms to feel apprehensive about revealing this aspect of their lives to potential partners. It can also be a challenge to navigate the complex emotions that arise from leaving an abusive relationship, and to work through the lasting effects of trauma. However, by finding the courage to open up and seek support, single moms can create meaningful connections with others who appreciate and accept them for who they are, past experiences and all.
Despite knowing deep down that I had chosen the wrong man to marry, I still went through with it. It wasn’t just my intuition telling me this; my family and friends also had a sense that something wasn’t right. However, it took years of therapy and self-reflection to understand why I had made this mistake. I now realize that I had normalized the chaos in our relationship because I had grown up in a traumatic environment
HELP IS HERE IF YOU NEED IT
The Assaulted Women’s Helpline offers a 24-hour telephone and TTY crisis line to all women who have experienced abuse. They provide counselling, emotional support, information and referrals.
There are many reasons women stay in shitty marriages. Of the Top Ten Reasons often cited, I solidly checked off four of them. Here are the top six in no particular order:
Obviously depending on your ‘sitch, your order of reasons for staying will differ from mine. But I do think universally that PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION is the worst, and the toughest to crack. It definitely was for me.
At one point near the end, it got so bad that he started to leave dirty diapers on the hood of my new Audi A4. So that when I left for work in the morning, I'd know "who was boss"
All of these tactics made it hard for me to leave the relationship. I felt trapped and powerless, and didn’t believe that I had the strength or resources to make a change. I also felt a sense of shame and guilt, as if I was somehow responsible for the abuse I was experiencing. It took me a long time to realize that the abuse wasn’t my fault, and that I deserved to be treated with respect and dignity.
Leaving an emotionally manipulative relationship is never easy, but it is possible. It often requires seeking help and support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide emotional support and guidance. It also involves recognizing your own worth and value, and believing that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. With time and support, I was able to leave my abusive marriage and begin to rebuild my life.
