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Some Slays are just that good...even if they're OFFLINE stories
T H E S C E N E
Brooklyn, MI
Population: 1,370
Coordinates: 42° 6′ 21″ N, 84° 14′ 56″ W
Famous for: well, read on… 😉
Friday night all right all right! It was 2013 and my ex announced, of course out of the blue, that he would take the kids for the weekend. I scrambled immediately to bribe a girlfriend to go to the NASCAR race at the Michigan International Motor Speedway. No takers – “too last minute…” Whatever. Thank u, next.
I started looking for accommodation immediately, knowing 56,000 people would be attending the race. Not all looking for hotels, however I needed to get on it. I found a Super 8 on South Main St., Brooklyn, MI and there were a couple rooms left for $109.95 USD/night. I opted not to book it, thinking I could find something a little more up-scale. BIG MISTAKE.
Hopped in my truck Saturday morning and drove to the border at Windsor. The Border Services dude asked the normal questions and but then asked who I was going to the race with. I said – no one. He then instructed me to roll down my back window so he could look in. He asked again, “You’re sure you’re going alone? Where ya stayin’?”
HUH?
“Because I’m a girl? Is that why you’re asking these things?” He stared at me. I stared at him. And he said to get on my way….. thanks.
I drove straight to the track and arrived just at dusk. What a sight! I looked at my watch and thought, “Shit, I’ve better find a hotel.” Driving along Main St. Brooklyn, seeing all the No Vacancy signs…this girl started to get anxious. I passed by a McDonald’s and thought worst case I can sleep in my truck and clean up at Don’s on the way to the track. I drove farther and farther away from the track, with no luck. My GPS told me there was a KOA close-by and that’s what I settled on. Camping in my Truck!
Driving to my campground fate, I noticed something pop up on my GPS. It said Northaven Resort, the opposite direction but only 3 miles away. JACKPOT! If they had any rooms. I pictured Northaven Resort like the resort in Dirty Dancing. Would I need a ballgown? White gloves? A meal plan? It was very glamorous, in my head!
I call the Resort. Here’s what happened:
the conversation
Mo: (in the softest, Southern drawl ever) Hello?
Me: Hi! Do you have any vacancy? I’m travelling alone, I only need one night, going to the race tomorrow. PLEASE tell me you have a room.”
Mo: Well, we most certainly dooooo, it’s $65 dollars.
Me: $65 dollars?? Sold! Sounds great, see you soon.
Mo: Excuse me… have you been here…before?
Me: No! But I’m sure it’s fine. It’s a resort, right?
Mo: It’s clothing optional…
I spit out my water. It’s what??
So thus began a series of hilarious questions by me; do people walk around naked? do I have to walk around naked? why is my room so CHEAP!?
Mo: Well, with your room type, you’ll have to share a toilet. And a shower.
Me: Uhhh, do you have any private rooms?
Mo: Oh yes we do, we have a cabin, but it’s $120 dollars for one night.
SOLD!!!
Me: Here’s my credit card to hold the cabin and I’ll see you soon.
Mo: It’s Cash Only
Me: Of course it is.
Mo’s parting words to me before I hang up and drive towards my new fate:
IT’S PIRATE NIGHT. SO YOU’LL SEE SOME PATCHES IN SOME INTERESTING PLACES. DON’T BE ALARMED. AND THERE ARE STROBE LIGHTS. LOTS OF STROBE LIGHTS. SO PLEASE COME TO THE PIRATE NIGHT DANCE.
